Tied Down

Posted by on Jul 22, 2011 in Blog, Relationships | 0 comments

Today is my brother’s wedding anniversary.  The idea of marriage got me thinking about how people in general get freaked out by tying the knot to someone for the rest of their lives.  And I pondered why that might be.

Is it possible that if you are tying the knot to someone you love that you wouldn’t feel “tied down”?  When I think of being tied down, I think of it as a negative thing.  Something that is keeping you from doing the very things that you were created for. Should a person be in a relationship that keeps them from doing the very thing that God created them for?

If I were married to someone who was jealous of my success as a person, I would never succeed.   I would never pursue after my dream of being a Life Coach so I am able to help as many people as the Lord is willing for me to help.  I would walk around with my head a little lower because my options would be limited and I would never be able to use the very gifts God has intended for me to use.

If I were married to someone who kept me “tied down” then I am not married to a person who is showing me true love.  If you are to marry, marry someone who is encouraging you to use your gifts, appreciates your gifts, and someone who wants to use your gifts with you.  Marry someone who loves you for you and who will not keep you from doing the very thing you were created for.

I am not saying to run away from the person whom you are already married to.  I am mostly writing this for people who are currently single or in a relationship and not married.  If you feel discouraged instead of encouraged after talking about your passions with the person you are seeing, then you might want to double check if this person is really best for you.

People feel “tied down” because they will never be able to date another person, because they have to check in with each other, because they can’t go out with their buddies or their gals.  They feel “tied down” because they have this restriction that keeps them from pursuing their dreams.  Some of these things are not bad.  Relationships are sacrificial and one must give up some of what they had been doing as a single person to make the relationship work.  I am more concerned about the passion side of being tied down.

If a person is pursuing their dreams when they have met the person, the person they met already knows what is expected of them in the relationship.  If one starts to change/mask their passions and desires to try and match where the other person is at, then there will be a lot of disappointment after the relationship has been “tied.”  It will surprise the person that they really didn’t like to exercise or that they really wanted to be a career mom and not a stay-at-home mom or vice versa.  This of course is a whole different subject I will cover in another blog at another time.

One must ask if it is worth being in a mediocre relationship with a person who keeps you from doing what you really want and desire.  I would say, Heck No!  Strive for excellence.  Strive for being the best you and only then will you end up in a relationship that not only has honesty a part of it, but also will soar because you are already pursuing after your dream.  You will be a happier you and because of that might even be found more attractive.

Marriage is a wonderful thing!  Marriage is a gift from God that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  My brother and his wife have a wonderful marriage and this blog doesn’t represent who they are as a couple.  In fact, it is just the opposite. They both have pursued their dreams.  Each of them has sacrificed their own comforts for each other.  Together they made their dreams happen.  They both encourage each other to be a better person and I would have to say that although they tied the knot eight years ago, neither one is “tied down” from reaching and attaining their dreams that God has given them.  Proud of you bro!

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